SAYING “I AM SORRY”
Yesterday, while enjoying lunch with a group from my church, and just being my usual ornery self, a gentleman across the table, said, “Faye, you are going to wind up in the corner.”
“Oh, figuratively speaking, I have spent a lot of my life in the corner,” I replied.
On the way home, I remembered little Willie, son of the mercantile owner, in “Little House on the Prairie.” It seems like Willie spent two-thirds of his time in the corner at that one-room school house in Walnut Grove. He was always misbehaving breaking the rules in some way.
I can hear Miss Beadle, “Willie, go stand in the corner,” and he went without much, if any, objection. I don’t know how long he stood there, but it was a form of punishment meant to humiliate him and stop his disruptive behavior. It didn’t seem to have the intended effect, however.
Forms of school discipline have changed drastically through the years. When I taught public school in the 60’s, I never put a child in the corner, nor did I ever lay a hand on one. Our principal would sometimes paddle a belligerent student, but corporal punishment is now illegal.
I don’t remember the issue now, but I do remember being greatly offended at my Mother for what I believed was undeserved punishment. I was about ten years old, when I decided that my Mama would be sorry for treating me unjustly, so I crawled into the back of the closet behind all the winter clothing, and hid myself. It was summer time in the Valley of the Sun, and it was hot—really hot, but never mind. Mama would come looking for me soon. She would be sorry for the way she treated me, and worried because I had disappeared. So I waited. I waited and waited and waited, and it got hotter and hotter and hotter. Mama was nowhere to be seen. She never came. Just before I would have died of heat exhaustion, I crawled sheepishly out of the closet and crept into the kitchen where she was busy at the stove.
If things had gone as imagined, she would have rushed at me with open arms begging my forgiveness and smothering me with kisses, but not my Mama! My wise, loving, patient Mama glanced over her shoulder with a slight smile, and continued her chores as though nothing had happened.
I’m sure I didn’t figure it out then, but I realize now that by refusing to admit my misbehavior and reacting as I did, I added to the pain that I had already suffered. If I had said, “Mama, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,” my Mama would have put her arms around me and hugged me tight. Would she still have disciplined me? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t have suffered in the summer heat, and I wouldn’t have wound up in that proverbial corner again.
As adults, we of course have graduated from these forms of childhood discipline. We no longer stand in the corner or are paddled by the principal, but when we are in the wrong, we sometimes conduct ourselves as did that little ten year old girl.
Why is it so difficult, almost impossible for some of us, to say, “I was wrong—I am sorry?” Why can we not find the strength within us to admit our fault? It is difficult because, when we admit to our guilt, our ego and pride are threatened.
Apologizing or saying “I’m sorry,” contrary to what some believe, is not a sign of weakness, but rather, the Hallmark of strength and bravery.
Don’t wait for the other person to apologize. Take the first step. It will heal the wound of that friend, dissolve your guilt, and restore self-respect.
An apology cannot change what has been done, but it can chase away anger and resentment. It can ease tension and relieve stress, and cleanse your soul. An apology heals hurts and leads to forgiveness.
Colossians 3:12 – 15 (The Message) counsels us, “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It is your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other…
Living a godly life, living according to God’s law, in an ungodly world, is a humongous assignment. I have done a lot of repenting in my lifetime. I have apologized countless times. I am continually working on “compassion, kindness, humility, and quiet strength,” because I have discovered that no matter how difficult it is, it is better than standing in that corner.
Someone has said, “An apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the ugliest moment into a gracious gift.”
BE READY TO SAY “I’M SORRY.” BE READY TO FORGIVE.
Did you know, that for every moment you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness?
Remember, the sun will come out tomorrow!
Yesterday, while enjoying lunch with a group from my church, and just being my usual ornery self, a gentleman across the table, said, “Faye, you are going to wind up in the corner.”
“Oh, figuratively speaking, I have spent a lot of my life in the corner,” I replied.
On the way home, I remembered little Willie, son of the mercantile owner, in “Little House on the Prairie.” It seems like Willie spent two-thirds of his time in the corner at that one-room school house in Walnut Grove. He was always misbehaving breaking the rules in some way.
I can hear Miss Beadle, “Willie, go stand in the corner,” and he went without much, if any, objection. I don’t know how long he stood there, but it was a form of punishment meant to humiliate him and stop his disruptive behavior. It didn’t seem to have the intended effect, however.
Forms of school discipline have changed drastically through the years. When I taught public school in the 60’s, I never put a child in the corner, nor did I ever lay a hand on one. Our principal would sometimes paddle a belligerent student, but corporal punishment is now illegal.
I don’t remember the issue now, but I do remember being greatly offended at my Mother for what I believed was undeserved punishment. I was about ten years old, when I decided that my Mama would be sorry for treating me unjustly, so I crawled into the back of the closet behind all the winter clothing, and hid myself. It was summer time in the Valley of the Sun, and it was hot—really hot, but never mind. Mama would come looking for me soon. She would be sorry for the way she treated me, and worried because I had disappeared. So I waited. I waited and waited and waited, and it got hotter and hotter and hotter. Mama was nowhere to be seen. She never came. Just before I would have died of heat exhaustion, I crawled sheepishly out of the closet and crept into the kitchen where she was busy at the stove.
If things had gone as imagined, she would have rushed at me with open arms begging my forgiveness and smothering me with kisses, but not my Mama! My wise, loving, patient Mama glanced over her shoulder with a slight smile, and continued her chores as though nothing had happened.
I’m sure I didn’t figure it out then, but I realize now that by refusing to admit my misbehavior and reacting as I did, I added to the pain that I had already suffered. If I had said, “Mama, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,” my Mama would have put her arms around me and hugged me tight. Would she still have disciplined me? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t have suffered in the summer heat, and I wouldn’t have wound up in that proverbial corner again.
As adults, we of course have graduated from these forms of childhood discipline. We no longer stand in the corner or are paddled by the principal, but when we are in the wrong, we sometimes conduct ourselves as did that little ten year old girl.
Why is it so difficult, almost impossible for some of us, to say, “I was wrong—I am sorry?” Why can we not find the strength within us to admit our fault? It is difficult because, when we admit to our guilt, our ego and pride are threatened.
Apologizing or saying “I’m sorry,” contrary to what some believe, is not a sign of weakness, but rather, the Hallmark of strength and bravery.
Don’t wait for the other person to apologize. Take the first step. It will heal the wound of that friend, dissolve your guilt, and restore self-respect.
An apology cannot change what has been done, but it can chase away anger and resentment. It can ease tension and relieve stress, and cleanse your soul. An apology heals hurts and leads to forgiveness.
Colossians 3:12 – 15 (The Message) counsels us, “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It is your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other…
Living a godly life, living according to God’s law, in an ungodly world, is a humongous assignment. I have done a lot of repenting in my lifetime. I have apologized countless times. I am continually working on “compassion, kindness, humility, and quiet strength,” because I have discovered that no matter how difficult it is, it is better than standing in that corner.
Someone has said, “An apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the ugliest moment into a gracious gift.”
BE READY TO SAY “I’M SORRY.” BE READY TO FORGIVE.
Did you know, that for every moment you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness?
Remember, the sun will come out tomorrow!