We all suffer disappointments from time to time. Some are fleeting while others may last a lifetime.
For months I have been plagued with pain that has made it almost impossible to walk more than a few feet. Because of obligations and other “THINGS,” I waited to make arrangements for surgery. Finding an Orthopedic surgeon to do a knee revision is not an easy task. Most will readily do the initial knee replacement but refuse to fix something you have messed up. That’s what I did. I messed up my knee falling on the pavement.
I was thrilled to find a doctor who would do the surgery and do it well. I actually counted the days until the scheduled operation—ten days, three days, only one day until I get some relief. I prayed every day that I would not fall again.
Yesterday morning, I was at the hospital at 6:30 a.m. I waited forever until everyone had his coffee. Then a sweet nurse took me back to prepare for this anticipated event. My pastor was there to pray with me, and dear, longtime friends came to see me through the ordeal.
During the course of disrobing, being poked with needles and answering interminable questions, Dr. Hudson, the anesthesiologist showed up. He was concerned about my Pace Maker and the fact that I am totally dependent upon it. After faxing my cardiologist for more information, Dr. Hudson came back to explain that it is possible during the surgery that some of the medical instruments could interfere with the Pace Maker. If such a thing occurred, they would have to send me by ambulance to another hospital, because being a specialty hospital, they have no cardiology back up.
The upshot was they would not do the surgery. They couldn’t take the risk. I was so disappointed! I was numbering the days until I would be mobile again. Of course, I didn’t want to die, but—
Four and one-half hours after being admitted, I left the hospital feeling deflated—overwhelmingly disappointed.
Later, I thought, “The only positive thing about all this is the delightful breakfast and visit I had with my good friends.” Then I thought again.
I remembered the extreme kindness of Dr. Hudson and the fact that I had a wonderful opportunity to talk to Kim, one of the nurses, about The Lord.
All of a sudden there was an explosion in my “pea brain.” I thought, “This doctor may have saved my life!”
If I believe what I say I believe, then God was not absent yesterday morning. He was right in the big middle of everything that happened.
I had prayed beforehand that God would guide the surgeon’s mind and hands, and enhance his skills, but I never imagined He would stop the surgery. God, however, knows what is best for me, and since I belong to Him, I must allow Him to command every situation. So, He was there. He stopped the surgery—the doctors following God’s direction whether or not they were aware.
Romans 8:28 says, “…we know that all things work together for good to them that love
God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.”
I believe that scripture. I really do, but I am not the spiritual giant that I may sometimes wish I were. When I awoke this morning, I thought, “I should be in rehab today beginning the therapy that will put me on my feet again. Instead, I have three more weeks of pain and immobility to look forward to.” I was not happy!
I do love God. He has called me to be His child, and slowly, as I allow, He is working His purpose in my life, but I want to know right now, what is the purpose of this royal mess-up— why didn’t someone recognize the problem, when arrangements were being made?
However, in reflection, I realize the Holy Spirit has given me a whole list of Whys.
- The few hours I spent in the hospital Monday morning I had the opportunity to show a joyful spirit, and to witness of God’s goodness to a needy soul. What if that is her only witness?
- The anesthesiologist saved my life proving once again God’s love for me.
- I had wonderful fellowship with people whom I love and seldom see.
- As I wait for the next three weeks for surgery at another facility, I have the opportunity and the time to draw closer to God—to know Him more intimately. What a wonderful possibility!
Surely there are more “WHYS,” and the greatest one I may never know, but something good will come out of all this. God said so!
Don’t fuss at God about your disappointments. Don’t let them defeat you. Remember God is there in the midst of them, and He will “work it together for your good” and for His purpose.
REMEMBER, THE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW!